Divorce, nobody plans for it, but sometimes, it’s the inevitable next step. Unfortunately, ending a marriage isn’t just about paperwork and dividing assets. It can be an emotional rollercoaster, and if you’re dealing with a difficult ex, it can become a full-on battleground. While some splits are amicable, others are more about one partner turning the whole experience into a personal crusade, making the process messy, expensive, and exhausting.
If you’re in a relationship and wondering how things might go if it comes to an end, certain red flags might indicate that your partner could be a handful in the divorce court. I’m not just talking about minor quirks here, these are signs that show up as recurring patterns in your interactions. And if you’re seeing more than a few of them, you might be in for a tough time if things ever go south.
From controlling tendencies to a flair for the dramatic, these behaviors can transform what could have been a straightforward split into a drawn-out ordeal.
1. They Can’t Let Go of Control
If your partner constantly needs to be in control, they probably won’t give that up during a divorce. Control issues can manifest in ways that make even minor negotiations a nightmare. They may fight over every small detail, even insisting on keeping things they don’t want just to show they’re the one in charge.
This can mean endless arguments over who gets what, delaying the splitting process and racking up legal fees. They’ll want to make every decision, down to what’s on the paperwork, just to prove they’re still in the driver’s seat. A partner who can’t relinquish control likely won’t make the separation easy, and that can make a lengthy and frustrating experience for you.
2. They’re Stubborn and Unwilling to Compromise
A partner who insists on always having things their way may dig their heels in during divorce proceedings. If they’ve always refused to compromise on even the smallest issues, expect the same stubbornness to rear its head when it comes to dividing assets or discussing custody. Negotiation isn’t their strong suit; they’re more likely to view each decision as a battle they must win.
Unfortunately, this rigidity can make everything from dividing assets to parenting arrangements a colossal struggle. You may end up spending more time and money on legal fees as they refuse to budge, prolonging the process and testing your patience at every turn.
3. They’re Obsessed with Appearances
If you’ve noticed that your partner cares a little too much about what others think, get ready for them to turn the divorce into a public relations campaign. They’ll want everyone to see them as the wronged party and you as the villain, and they’ll go to great lengths to make that happen. They might spread rumors, play the victim card, or even use social media to sway people’s opinions.
This behavior can make divorce not only emotionally draining but also incredibly isolating. You may find yourself defending your side of the story, not just in court but also in your community or among mutual friends. Their need to come out looking perfect can turn an already difficult time into a PR battle you didn’t sign up for.
4. They Have a Vengeful Streak
If your partner has a history of holding grudges or taking revenge, brace yourself, they might carry that same mentality into the divorce. A vengeful partner isn’t just looking for a fair split– they’re out to make you pay, emotionally or financially. They may go out of their way to drag you through the mud, using every opportunity to make your life harder.
This type of behavior can make the divorce process exhausting and can leave lasting scars. They may use children, pets, or any shared assets to hurt you, making each step feel like a confrontation. A vengeful ex can turn a legal process into a personal vendetta, which makes moving on that much harder.
5. They Hold Financial Secrets
If you’ve ever noticed your partner squirreling away money or being less than transparent about finances, it’s a sign they could make divorce financially complicated. Hidden bank accounts, secret credit cards, or even investments you didn’t know about can become leverage they use against you during proceedings.
This behavior can drag out divorce settlements, as discovering hidden assets often involves forensic accountants and more legal wrangling. Instead of simply splitting what’s fair, you may find yourself in a battle just to uncover what’s really yours. A partner who plays financial hide-and-seek is likely to add stress and cost to an already difficult process.
6. They’re Manipulative
A partner who often twists words, situations, or even their own actions to suit their needs will likely continue this behavior in divorce. Manipulative people are skilled at turning things to their advantage.
During a divorce, this can mean endless mind games. They may flip-flop on agreements, shift blame, or even use gaslighting tactics to make you question your own memory of events. With a manipulator, you can expect a divorce filled with deceit and drama as they try to tilt everything in their favor.
7. They Have a History of Blame-Shifting
Does your partner always make everything your fault, even when it’s obviously not? If so, this habit of blame-shifting can become a major headache during a divorce. They’ll likely insist that the entire breakup is your doing and refuse to take responsibility for any part of it.
This can make negotiation feel like a one-sided argument, with them holding you solely accountable. They may even use this tactic to justify unfair demands, claiming you “owe” them in some way. A blame-shifter doesn’t see reason or compromise, they just want you to shoulder the burden, which can make the whole process feel incredibly unfair.
8. They’re Prone to Melodrama
If your partner loves turning every minor issue into a soap opera, be prepared for them to ramp up the drama during the divorce. They might break down in tears one moment, then launch into accusations the next. Every minor dispute becomes a stage for their theatrical displays.
This kind of behavior isn’t just tiring, it can make productive negotiation almost impossible. They may use emotional outbursts as a way to manipulate outcomes or to paint you as the villain, hoping to sway others’ opinions or even the court’s perception. When every interaction turns into an emotional spectacle, it can add layers of frustration to an already challenging situation.
9. They’ve Got a Short Fuse
Someone who’s quick to anger can turn the simplest issues into explosive arguments. If your partner has a history of losing their temper over small things, expect more of the same when it comes to dividing assets or discussing custody arrangements.
Hot-headed behavior can lead to impulsive decisions that complicate the divorce process. They might refuse to cooperate or storm out of meetings, delaying everything. If they use anger as a tactic to intimidate you, it can make an already tense process feel like walking through a minefield.
10. They Constantly Need Validation
A partner who craves constant praise or admiration might use the divorce process to seek sympathy or validation from everyone around them. They may try to play the hero or victim, depending on what garners the most attention.
During a divorce, this behavior can lead to them dragging others into the fray including mutual friends, family members, or even your kids. They’ll want everyone to see them as the “good guy,” and they won’t hesitate to throw you under the bus to make that happen. If they can’t get validation from you, they’ll turn to others, making the whole ordeal feel public and painfully one-sided.
11. They’re Obsessed with Winning
For some people, life is all about winning, even when it comes to relationships. If your partner treats everything like a competition, they’ll likely approach divorce the same way, determined to come out on top no matter the cost.
This can mean taking you to court over every minor detail, refusing to agree to anything that feels like a “loss” on their part. They’re not interested in fairness or compromise; they’re solely focused on “winning” the divorce. This approach can extend the process and make it emotionally and financially draining.
12. They’re Materialistic
A partner who’s obsessed with stuff and attaches great value to possessions may fight tooth and nail to keep every item they can, regardless of emotional or financial logic. If they’ve always valued “things” over people, don’t expect that to change in divorce.
They’ll haggle over every asset, from the furniture to the pets, and insist on claiming items they never even used. Their focus on “stuff” can slow down the process, as they’ll likely try to claim far more than their fair share. It’s a possessiveness that turns what should be a fair split into a drawn-out squabble.
13. They’re Secretive About Their Social Life
If your partner has always been cagey about where they go or who they’re with, that secrecy may make things harder in a divorce. They might hide assets, keep you out of the loop on important details, or even use these hidden aspects of their life as leverage against you.
This lack of transparency can lead to a frustrating process where you’re constantly chasing down information. A secretive ex can add extra steps and costs, as you may have to bring in professionals to uncover what they’re trying to keep under wraps. If they’ve kept secrets before, expect them to keep a few more during the divorce.
14. They Have a History of Bad-Mouthing Others
If your partner has a habit of speaking poorly about others, they’ll likely turn that behavior against you during a divorce. They might spread rumors, distort facts, or even lie outright to make you look bad, hoping to sway mutual friends, family, or even the judge.
This tactic can make the divorce feel less like a legal process and more like a personal attack. When someone is focused on tearing down your character, it can affect everything from custody agreements to asset division. It’s exhausting to be on the receiving end of this behavior, and it often makes an already difficult process feel hostile and personal.
15. They’re Irresponsible with Money
If you’ve always found yourself picking up the pieces of your partner’s financial messes, brace yourself, you’re in for a doozy. A financially irresponsible partner can be a nightmare to divorce, potentially leaving you with shared debts, or worse, refusing to agree to fair terms because they have no real understanding of money management.
This can lead to long disputes over who owes what, especially if they’re used to you handling everything. They may even rack up debts during the divorce just to make things harder for you. With a history of financial recklessness, they’re likely to drag out the process, making it harder for both of you to move on.
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With an honors degree in financial engineering, Omega Ukama deeply understands finance. Before pursuing journalism, he honed his skills at a private equity firm, giving him invaluable real-world experience. This combination of financial literacy and journalistic flair allows him to translate complex financial matters into clear and concise insights for his readers.
With an honors degree in financial engineering, Omega Ukama deeply understands finance. Before pursuing journalism, he honed his skills at a private equity firm, giving him invaluable real-world experience. This combination of financial literacy and journalistic flair allows him to translate complex financial matters into clear and concise insights for his readers.
