14 Common Issues That Drive Couples to Divorce

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There are not many things as heartbreaking and complicated as considering the end of a marriage. It’s like ripping apart two papers glued together—whichever way things go, someone will get hurt. Statistics indicate that a divorce happens in America every 42 seconds. Despite the potential pain, sometimes a marriage gets to a point where ending it is the best option for everyone involved.

Although no one begins a marriage with ideas of divorce, even the strongest relationships can face irreparable challenges. Understanding why some couples think about ending their marriage provides valuable insight and knowledge that can guide those facing marital difficulties toward resolution and healing.

This article uncovers the obstacles marriages may encounter, whether you’re a married couple navigating challenges, a relationship counselor seeking deeper insight into your clients, or a family therapist searching for additional resources. Here’s why people consider leaving a marriage.

1. Infidelity

Infidelity is one of the most devastating reasons why people consider leaving their marriage. When trust is broken through an affair, it can feel insurmountable to rebuild the relationship. Studies reveal that couples who experience infidelity are three times more likely to separate than those who don’t. The emotional pain and betrayal associated with infidelity will often lead individuals to question the very foundation of their marriage.

Rebuilding trust after infidelity requires time, effort, and commitment from both partners if they’re willing to work things out. Open communication, transparency, and seeking professional help can aid in the healing process. However, for some, the betrayal might be too profound, making divorce seem like the only viable option.

2. Physical or Emotional Abuse

Physical or emotional abuse within a marriage is a serious and often dangerous issue that can cause individuals to leave their relationship. Abuse can take many forms, including physical violence, verbal attacks, manipulation, and controlling behavior. This toxic environment can erode a person’s self-esteem, sense of safety, and overall well-being.

Leaving an abusive marriage is often a necessary step for the victim’s safety and health. Accessing support from friends, family, and professional services is crucial in these situations. It’s important to recognize that abuse is never acceptable, and seeking help is a courageous and vital decision.

3. Problems with Intimacy

Intimacy is a fundamental aspect of a healthy marriage, encompassing emotional closeness, physical affection, and sexual connection. When problems with intimacy arise, they can create feelings of loneliness, frustration, and disconnection between partners. This can lead to misunderstandings, resentment, and a sense of unmet needs within the relationship.

Addressing intimacy issues often requires open communication and a willingness to understand each other’s needs and desires. Seeking guidance from a marriage counselor or therapist can also help couples work through these challenges, fostering a deeper connection and understanding.

4. Unmet Expectations

Every person goes into a marriage with expectations, some more realistic than others. Unmet expectations can be a significant source of marital dissatisfaction. When one or both partners feel that their needs, desires, or dreams are unmet, it can result in disappointment.

It’s essential for couples to communicate openly about their expectations and work together to find common ground. Compromise, understanding, and realistic goal-setting can help bridge the gap between expectations and reality, strengthening the marriage.

5. Unending Arguments

Couples argue, but constant bickering over big and small things can create a corrosive atmosphere within a marriage. When disagreements become a regular occurrence, they can erode the positive aspects of the relationship and lead to a sense of hopelessness.

To address this, couples should focus on improving their communication skills and finding healthy ways to resolve conflicts. Seeking help from a marriage counselor can provide valuable tools and strategies for managing disagreements constructively.

6. Lack of Communication

67.5% of marriages in America end because of a lack of communication. Effective communication is the cornerstone of a healthy marriage. When communication breaks down, it can lead to misunderstandings, unmet needs, and emotional distance. A lack of communication can manifest in various ways, including avoiding difficult conversations, not listening to each other, or failing to express feelings and thoughts.

It’s essential to listen actively and empathize with each other’s perspectives. Regular check-ins and setting aside time for meaningful conversations can help maintain a strong connection.

7. Money Problems

Financial stress is a common challenge in many marriages. Disagreements over spending, saving, debt, and financial goals can lead to tension and conflict. Money problems can create a sense of insecurity and strain the relationship, particularly if there are differing attitudes toward financial management.

Addressing financial issues requires a collaborative approach to budgeting and financial planning. Couples may benefit from seeking advice from a financial advisor to help create a plan that works for both partners.

8. Abandonment

Feeling abandoned by a partner, especially physically, can be deeply distressing. Abandonment may occur when one partner withdraws from the relationship, prioritizes other commitments over the marriage, or is absent due to work or personal pursuits. This sense of neglect can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness.

Rebuilding a sense of connection and commitment requires both partners to invest time and effort into the relationship. Open communication about each other’s needs and finding ways to prioritize the marriage can help overcome feelings of abandonment.

9. Addictions

Addiction is a disease, and about 7% of marriages end because of substance abuse. Addictions, whether related to substances, gambling, or other behaviors, can wreak havoc on a marriage. The destructive nature of addiction can lead to broken trust, financial instability, and emotional turmoil.

Seeking professional help is crucial in addressing addiction within a marriage. Support groups, therapy, and rehabilitation programs can provide the necessary tools and resources for recovery. Both partners must be committed to the process for the marriage to heal and thrive.

10. Growing Apart

In a few years, you will definitely not be the person your partner married. Over time, couples may find that they have grown apart, developing different interests, values, or goals. This gradual drift can create a sense of disconnection and dissatisfaction within the marriage. Growing apart may result from changes in career, personal growth, or life circumstances.

It’s important for married people to make an effort to grow together, reconnect, and find common interests. They can rekindle the bond by spending quality time together, participating in shared activities, and expressing mutual appreciation.

11. Relatives’ Interference

Interference from relatives, whether from in-laws or extended family, can create tension and conflict within a marriage. When family members overstep boundaries or impose their opinions, it can lead to disagreements and stress. Balancing family dynamics and maintaining a healthy marriage requires clear boundaries and mutual support.

You must establish a united front and prioritize the marriage to help mitigate the impact of external influences. Talk about boundaries before you get married and work together to address any issues arising from family interference.

12. Continuous Disrespect

Respect is a fundamental aspect of a healthy marriage, and some people even argue that respect is more important than love. Continuous disrespect, whether through belittling, criticism, or disregard for each other’s feelings, can erode the foundation of the relationship.

Addressing disrespect requires both partners to acknowledge the issue and commit to change. You must practice empathy and seek professional help to aid in rebuilding respect.

13. Lack of Preparation Before Marriage

Doesn’t it seem like people focus more on planning the wedding than preparing for the marriage? A lack of preparation before marriage can lead to unrealistic expectations and unaddressed issues. Couples who enter marriage without discussing important topics such as finances, children, and career goals may find themselves facing unexpected challenges.

Pre-marital counseling and open discussions about future plans can help couples build a strong foundation. Understand each other’s values and expectations to prevent potential conflicts and ensure a smoother transition into married life.

14. Conflict Around Family Responsibilities

Balancing family responsibilities, such as caring for children or elderly parents, or managing household duties can create stress and conflict within a marriage. Differing opinions on handling responsibilities between partners can lead to disagreements and resentment.

Sharing responsibilities and supporting each other in family duties can help reduce stress and strengthen the partnership.

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