Why is it that men who used to be fun and lively when they were young turn into the grumpiest old geezers? You have probably seen one standing on his front porch, walking stick in hand, crankily waving kids off his lawn. Or perhaps it’s the once merry grandpa who now keeps complaining about everything—from the economy to how “the TikTok” is ruining youngsters. Some call it irritable male syndrome (IMS), and this evident shift in mood and temperament can cause tension in families.
This phenomenon isn’t just a funny jab at old people. It’s influenced by a mix of physical and mental factors. Understanding the reasons behind these changes is important for the men and their families and friends who seek to support them through this transition.
Here are some insights and potential strategies for managing and mitigating its impact on daily life.
1. Hormonal Changes
Does the 60-year-old man in your house feel like a walking, talking tornado? It’s not entirely his fault. As men age, they experience significant hormonal changes, particularly in their testosterone levels. This decrease can affect mood, energy levels, and overall temperament, making some men feel more irritable or less tolerant than they used to be.
The decline in testosterone starts earlier but becomes more pronounced when men hit their 60s. Symptoms associated with this hormonal change are not just limited to irritability. They also include fatigue, depression, reduced libido, and difficulty concentrating. Medical professionals can diagnose low testosterone levels through a simple blood test, and treatment may involve lifestyle changes, testosterone replacement therapy, or counseling to manage the psychological effects.
2. Retirement and Loss of Identity
Most people don’t know who they are once they’re no longer the Chief of something at work. The once high-flying CEO, COO, of CFO retired and is now strapped to the recliner in front of the TV. While some people easily adjust to retirement, it can be challenging for many men. The loss of professional identity and structure can lead to feelings of worthlessness and irritability as they struggle to find new purpose and routines in their daily lives.
Engaging in volunteer work, indulging in long-held hobbies, or learning new skills are ways to combat the sense of loss post-retirement. Men can redirect their focus towards activities that provide a sense of accomplishment and purpose, thus alleviating feelings of irritability and negativity associated with losing their professional identity.
3. Health Issues
Old age is never a solo traveler. It is often accompanied by memory loss and other health issues that make most men uncomfortable and, sometimes, ashamed. The discomfort and stress of dealing with health conditions can significantly contribute to irritability and mood swings.
Men need regular medical check-ups and a healthy lifestyle to help manage these chronic conditions. They should also communicate openly with loved ones about their health and seek ways to alleviate their symptoms.
4. Sleep Disturbances
Sleep patterns change as we age, and it’s rarely for the better. Many older adults experience sleep issues such as insomnia or sleep apnea. They may have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep. It’s not by choice that most older people consistently wake up very early every day, even on the weekends.
Poor sleep can dramatically affect mood, leading to increased grumpiness and irritability. Anyone would be grumpy if they consistently suffered from interrupted and poor-quality shut-eye. It’s important to create a peaceful sleeping environment and bedtime routine to maximize the quality and quantity of sleep.
5. Financial Stress
Money may not buy happiness, but not having it is a major cause of unhappiness. Worries about finances, especially post-retirement, can weigh heavily on older men. Concerns about savings, pension, medical expenses, or being financially dependent can lead to significant stress and grumpiness.
Older men need to engage in financial planning well before retirement to alleviate financial stress. This can involve creating a good retirement plan or exploring investment options to supplement their pension. Adopting a simplified lifestyle to lower living expenses can also significantly reduce financial stress.
6. Loss of Physical Strength and Stamina
Growing older comes with a decline in physical strength, which isn’t a welcome reality. An ex-athlete who can no longer walk a mile will feel very frustrated. Imagine huffing and puffing after a simple activity, such as tying your shoes. Losing strength makes them dependent on others, leading to feelings of inadequacy and irritability.
Maintaining physical activity is key to counteracting the loss of strength and stamina caused by aging. Older men can find suitable exercises that match their current physical condition, such as walking, swimming, or light resistance training. These activities will help maintain muscle tone and improve endurance.
7. Feeling Isolated
Most people grow old and discover that almost everyone has moved away and gotten their own life. The feeling of being left out can be particularly acute for older men, especially if they live alone or are distant from family. This isolation can lead to depression and increased irritability.
Older men need to foster their social connections and community involvement. Encourage them to participate in local community groups or engage in social activities. Technology is making communication easier and more convenient, so teach them how to use it to stay connected with family and friends.
8. Difficulty Adapting to Change
Most older people share the feeling that they have woken up one day and everything has changed—electronics talk to them, and cars know where they are going without them touching the steering wheel. The fast pace of technological and societal changes can overwhelm some older individuals.
This leads to a nostalgic longing for “simpler times,” which can manifest as grumpiness. It may feel like they’re no longer in control, and that’s a frustrating thought.
9. Cognitive Changes
One of the most common signs of aging is cognitive impairment, mild or otherwise. For most men, dementia starts in the 60s, and it can bring some confusion, frustration, and irritability. Once easy tasks become challenging. Most men won’t even know they’re being difficult and grumpy.
Helping a person with cognitive changes can be difficult and frustrating, even for the caregiver. Create a safe and structured environment that minimizes confusion and frustration. Simple steps like maintaining a consistent routine, labeling household items, and using reminders for important things such as medication can make daily life more manageable.
10. Grief
As you age, it becomes inevitable that you will lose some loved ones along the way. The grief that comes with these losses can profoundly affect one’s mood and outlook. A man who had to endure such losses will likely become irritable and sad.
Addressing grief in older men requires a patient and understanding approach, as most men don’t like to talk about their feelings. Encouraging open communication is important, allowing them to express their feelings and memories of lost loved ones. Providing support through listening, sharing their memories, and even participating in memorial activities can help them process their grief.
11. Decreased Libido
Many men fear that they will lose their libido, and aging makes that fear a reality for some. Changes in sexual desire and function often accompany aging and can lead to feelings of frustration or inadequacy, contributing to mood swings and irritability. While decreased libido is a natural part of aging, it’s important to address any underlying physical or emotional issues that may be causing it.
Encouraging open communication and seeking medical assistance if necessary can help address decreased libido and improve overall well-being. Additionally, finding non-sexual ways to connect and express love with one’s partner can help maintain intimacy without relying solely on sexual activity.
12. Medication Side Effects
Many older adults take multiple medications, which can have side effects, including mood changes. These can worsen or directly contribute to feelings of irritability.
If the senior has had medications prescribed, monitor their mood and discuss any concerning changes with their healthcare provider. Together, they can find ways to manage side effects or adjust medications if necessary.
13. Fear of Mortality
Aging brings a heightened awareness of mortality, which can be unsettling. Many may not openly speak about it, but the reality that the years ahead are fewer than the ones behind is real. This existential dread can contribute to a darker outlook on life, leading to increased grumpiness.
It’s essential to help older men find enjoyment and purpose in their lives, such as engaging in hobbies, volunteering, or mentoring younger individuals. These activities can provide a sense of accomplishment and contribute to more positivity. It’s also important to acknowledge and address fears of mortality with compassion and understanding.
14. Physical Discomfort and Pain
Aging often comes with aches and pains, from arthritis to joint stiffness. These physical discomforts can lead to irritability, making daily tasks more difficult and uncomfortable.
Encouraging older men to stay active and engage in gentle exercises can alleviate some of these discomforts. Additionally, seeking medical treatment for chronic pain or illnesses can significantly improve physical discomfort.
19 Things You Shouldn’t Fear as You Get Older
As we grow older, it’s common for our fears to grow alongside us and sometimes hold us back from enjoying our lives. Many of these worries come from not knowing what will happen as we age. The media (social and news) also makes older folks unnecessarily fearful about their health and vitality- often painting a picture of disaster, decline, and disease.
19 Things You Shouldn’t Fear as You Get Older
14 Tough Parts About Getting Older No One Shares
Some people celebrate the first grey hair and the first wrinkle, while others are horrified at the first sign of aging and do all they can to eliminate it. The tell-tale signs of aging are met with varied reactions, but they all indicate one thing—no one will be left by this aging train.
14 Tough Parts About Getting Older No One Shares
I’m a Language and Literary Studies (Honors) graduate with 11 years of experience in magazine and blog writing and content creation. I’m passionate about storytelling for change and believe in the power of words to make a difference. My writing is thought-provoking, accessible, and engaging, focusing on the Psychology of human behavior, complex social issues, personal experiences, and the latest trends. I’m a wife and a Mom of three.
I’m a Language and Literary Studies (Honors) graduate with 11 years of experience in magazine and blog writing and content creation. I’m passionate about storytelling for change and believe in the power of words to make a difference. My writing is thought-provoking, accessible, and engaging, focusing on the Psychology of human behavior, complex social issues, personal experiences, and the latest trends. I’m a wife and a Mom of three.
