Sometimes, you can feel your anger rising, heating your cheeks and ears. Other times, you can feel the resentment building up in your throat and feel nauseated just thinking about the object of your anger. How do you get rid of these feelings?
As an adult, there’ll always be someone or something that outrages you—for many, that’s tax time or dinner with the in-laws. It’s all too easy to find yourself feeling angry or resentful. Whether it’s due to personal relationships, work-related stress, or even social media, these feelings can quickly take a toll on your mental and physical well-being. Anger can lead to mental torture, fights, or even thoughts of self-harm.
While it’s natural to experience anger and resentment from time to time, letting these emotions control you can have harmful consequences. The good news is that there are effective strategies for managing and overcoming these negative emotions.
Here are 15 ways that you can reclaim your peace of mind and improve your interactions with others.
1. Admit and Acknowledge Your Feelings
One of the first steps in addressing anger and resentment is to admit and acknowledge your feelings. Denying or suppressing these emotions only intensifies them over time. Take a moment to reflect on what you’re truly feeling. Are you angry, hurt, or frustrated? Pinpointing the exact emotion can help you address it more effectively.
Once you’ve identified your emotions, accept them without judgment. It’s okay to feel angry or resentful; these are natural human responses. The key is not to dwell on them but to understand why you feel this way and what triggered these emotions.
2. Step Away From the Situation
When you find yourself in a situation that’s causing anger, sometimes the best action is to step away. This break allows you to calm down and gain perspective. Whether it’s a heated argument or a stressful work environment, removing yourself physically can prevent you from saying or doing something you’ll regret.
Use this time away to reflect on the situation and regain control over your emotions. A short walk or even listening to calming music can help you return to the situation with a clearer, more composed mind.
3. Look Out for Warning Signs
Anger often manifests through physical symptoms like a racing heart, clenched fists, or tense muscles. By identifying these early warning signs, you can take proactive steps to calm yourself before your anger escalates.
Have a plan in place for when you notice these warning signs. This could involve counting to ten or deep breathing exercises. The goal is to interrupt the cycle of anger before it spirals out of control.
4. Be Easy on Yourself and Trust the Process
It’s important to be kind to yourself during this process. Understand that managing resentment takes time. Instead of criticizing yourself for feeling these emotions, practice self-compassion and remind yourself that it’s a part of being human.
Trust that with consistent effort, you can overcome these negative emotions. Celebrate small victories along the way and recognize that progress might be slow but is certainly achievable.
5. Try to Understand the Other Person’s Perspective
Understanding the perspective of the person you’re angry with can often help diffuse your anger. Try to put yourself in their shoes and consider why they might have acted the way they did. This exercise in empathy can help you see the situation more objectively.
Chances are, they are acting out an unmet need, and you would have reacted similarly if you had been in their shoes. By considering their perspective, you may realize that their actions were likely not a personal attack but a response to their own situation.
6. Learn Your Triggers
Spend some time reflecting on situations that consistently make you angry. Is it a particular person, type of event, or environment? Being aware of your triggers is crucial to avoiding and preparing for these situations in the future.
Once you know your triggers, try to develop specific coping strategies for managing them. This could involve relaxation techniques, positive affirmations, or setting boundaries with certain individuals.
7. Communicate Your Feelings
Holding in your feelings can lead to resentment. Learn to communicate your emotions honestly and assertively in the moment. Use “I” statements to express how you feel without blaming others, which can lead to more constructive conversations.
Aim for resolution, not confrontation. The goal is to express your feelings and find a solution that works for all parties involved. Effective communication can significantly reduce feelings of anger and resentment.
8. Document Your Feelings
Writing down your thoughts and emotions can be incredibly therapeutic. Keeping a journal allows you to vent your feelings in a safe, private space and ensures that you can process your thoughts and reflect. This will also help you identify triggers and develop coping mechanisms.
Journaling also helps track your progress over time. You can look back and see how you’ve managed your emotions, which can be encouraging and insightful.
9. Spend Less Time Online
A digital detox may help diffuse resentment. The internet, especially social media, can be a significant source of stress and anger. Consider taking a digital detox to disconnect from online negativity and focus on real-life interactions more intentionally.
Use the time you’d spend online to engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Whether it’s reading a book, going for a walk, or spending time with loved ones, these activities can help reduce anger and resentment.
10. Talk to a Trusted Person
Sometimes, talking to a trusted friend or family member can provide the support you need. They can offer a different perspective, be an emotional sounding board, and give you the support you need to work through your feelings. There’s an old adage that states that “a problem shared is a problem halved,” which rings true to the many who feel less burdened after talking out their problems with a loved one.
If your anger and resentment are overwhelming, consider seeking help from a mental health professional. Therapy can provide you with tools and strategies to manage these emotions effectively.
11. Find Other Ways to Spend That Energy
It takes a lot of energy to stay angry and resentful. Find useful places to channel that energy. Engage in physical activities like running, swimming, or yoga to channel your energy positively. Exercise releases endorphins, which can improve your mood and reduce anger.
Find creative outlets like painting, writing, or playing an instrument to express your emotions constructively. These activities can be incredibly therapeutic and fulfilling.
12. Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness techniques, such as mindful breathing, can help you stay present and calm. Practice these techniques regularly to manage your emotions more effectively. Deep breaths will help you regulate your heart rate, calm down, and look at a situation more objectively.
Incorporate meditation into your daily routine. Even a few minutes of meditation each day can significantly reduce stress and improve your emotional well-being.
13. Distract Yourself and Don’t Dwell
Avoid the temptation to replay past events and fall into a cycle of resentment. When you feel anger creeping in, distract yourself with activities you enjoy. This could be watching a movie or cooking something complicated.
The goal is to shift your focus away from what’s making you angry. Distraction techniques can help you break the cycle of rumination and prevent your anger from escalating.
14. Take Better Care of Your Body
A healthy body contributes to a healthy mind. Prioritize eating a balanced diet, getting enough sleep, and staying hydrated. These basic self-care practices can significantly impact your emotional health. Incorporate regular exercise into your routine. Physical activity not only improves your physical health but also boosts your mental well-being.
They say that food, sleep, and exercise were the original medicines, so ensure you get your daily doses. Ensuring your mind and body are in their best shape will better allow you to deal with emotional hardships.
15. Let Go of the Need for Revenge
Seeking revenge might offer a momentary sense of satisfaction but often leads to a continuous cycle of anger and negativity. Holding onto thoughts of revenge keeps you tethered to the source of your anger, which can hinder your ability to move forward.
Instead of seeking retaliatory actions, focus on forgiveness as a way to regain peace. Forgiveness is not about condoning the wrongdoing but about freeing yourself from the emotional burden. This shift in mindset can lead to emotional liberation and contribute to better mental health.
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I’m a Language and Literary Studies (Honors) graduate with 11 years of experience in magazine and blog writing and content creation. I’m passionate about storytelling for change and believe in the power of words to make a difference. My writing is thought-provoking, accessible, and engaging, focusing on the Psychology of human behavior, complex social issues, personal experiences, and the latest trends. I’m a wife and a Mom of three.
