On the drive home from a Thanksgiving celebration, my 9-year-old daughter said, “I’m surprised you were grateful for this car, even though it’s not working very well.” We had had a few days of funny noises that were yet to be fixed. This sparked a great conversation about how we can always be grateful, even in less-than-perfect situations. Phew, parenting is hard sometimes!
Does it feel like kids these days, with the multitude of gadgets and instant gratification, have fallen into the entitlement hole? It may look like your 6-year-old suddenly became insufferable, but this isn’t a process that happens overnight. It’s something that quietly creeps in if you’re not paying attention. We’d love to blame them, but here’s the sad truth—it’s not entirely their fault.
Have you created an environment for the kids that allows them to be entitled and ungrateful? Parents and grandparents have the power to influence how children grow. Here are some tips to prevent bringing up entitled kids and grandkids.
1. Practicing Gratitude
Gratitude isn’t something that just happens. It’s a habit that needs to be nurtured. Teaching your kids or grandkids to be thankful for what they have is one of the best ways to combat entitlement. Make sure they see you practicing gratitude, too.
Gratitude doesn’t have to be for Thanksgiving only! Start by encouraging them to express gratitude daily, whether it’s at the dinner table or in a journal. When kids take time to reflect on what they have, they start to realize that not everything is guaranteed.
2. Establish Boundaries
Kids are naturally going to push the limits, especially with grandparents who can’t bring themselves to say “No.” However, boundaries aren’t there to keep them in a box—they’re there to teach respect and responsibility.
Setting clear limits on what’s acceptable can help kids understand that the world doesn’t revolve around their every wish. Boundaries need to come with explanations. When kids know the “why” behind a rule, they’re more likely to respect it.
3. Model Responsible Behavior
Yeah, the “Becasue I said so” days are gone. Kids are watching—always. They’re like little sponges soaking up everything you do, even when you don’t realize it. That’s why modeling responsible behavior is one of the most effective ways to prevent entitlement.
You don’t have to be perfect, but you should be consistent. If you tell them to be responsible yet don’t follow through on your own commitments, mixed signals will confuse them.
4. Don’t Reward Kids Just for Showing Up
Rewards are a tricky business. While it’s great to acknowledge a job well done, it’s important to be mindful of when and how you’re handing them out. Rewarding kids simply for existing—like giving them a prize for showing up to a family dinner—can lead to entitlement.
Instead, celebrate their effort, persistence, and eagerness to engage meaningfully. This gentle shift shows them that not every action needs applause. When they link rewards with real achievement rather than just getting by, they’re more likely to feel proud of their hard work and not just look for constant praise.
5. Encourage Self-Sufficiency
When children learn to do things for themselves, they gain confidence and understand that they can’t always rely on others to meet their needs. Assigning responsibilities around the house can help kids understand that they play a crucial role in the family dynamic.
Start with small tasks, like letting them prepare their own lunch or manage their homework schedule. These little responsibilities build up to larger life skills over time. By allowing them to figure things out on their own, you’re giving them the gift of independence.
6. Limit Technology
Technology is a double-edged sword. While kids need to be tech-savvy, when kids spend hours glued to their devices, they become used to overstimulation, which doesn’t translate well into real life.
Limiting screen time encourages them to engage in the world around them. It teaches them patience and creativity instead of expecting everything at the push of a button. Set reasonable limits and encourage tech-free activities that require them to use their imagination or social skills.
7. Teach Them About Money
Money management is a life skill that every child should learn early. If children grow up thinking that money comes without effort, they’ll feel entitled to it later.
Teach them about earning, saving, and spending wisely. When kids realize that money doesn’t grow on trees, they’ll think twice before expecting handouts. You can also give them a small allowance in exchange for completed chores or tasks.
8. Teach Them Leadership
Leadership pushes kids to step up and realize the world doesn’t revolve around them. It’s hard to find an entitled scout leader, right? When they take on leadership roles, they get a crash course in decision-making, responsibility, and the not-so-glamorous side of being in charge.
Whether it’s leading a group project or taking the reins at home, giving them the chance to lead helps them grasp that being in charge is about more than just calling the shots.
9. Telling Kids No at the Store
Many parents find the grocery store a battlefield. “No” is one of the most powerful words you can use with kids. You have to set realistic expectations when the kids are looking at all the candy and want it all.
When you’re out at the store and your child asks for the latest toy or treat, it’s okay to say no. This teaches them that they can’t always have what they want when they want it. The kids won’t like it, but learning to handle disappointment is an important life skill.
10. Introduce Natural Consequences
One of the best ways to teach responsibility is to allow kids to experience the natural consequences of their actions. If they forget their homework, don’t rush to save them by calling the teacher. If they refuse to clean their room, let them deal with the discomfort of a messy space.
These real-life lessons sink in far better than any lecture. Natural consequences teach kids that their choices have weight, and it’s not always someone else’s job to fix their mistakes.
11. Teach Empathy
Teach kids to put themselves in others’ shoes. Encouraging empathy can be as simple as talking through situations where they might not have considered someone else’s perspective.
You can also help encourage empathy by engaging in charitable activities together, like volunteering or donating toys. These actions help kids see that they’re part of a larger world where not everyone has the same privileges.
12. Encourage Delayed Gratification
Kids today don’t know how to wait for anything. Delayed gratification helps children understand that not everything worth having comes immediately, and sometimes, the best things are the ones you have to wait for.
It teaches them that some goals require effort and perseverance, which makes the victory even sweeter. Delayed gratification is a lesson that even some adults are still mastering!
13. Discourage Comparisons
Constantly comparing them to others or letting them compare themselves can lead to a sense of entitlement. If they think they deserve more just because someone else has it, you’re feeding the monster.
Encourage them to focus on their own achievements. Kids need to learn that someone else’s success doesn’t diminish their own. This mindset helps cultivate a sense of personal pride.
14. Expose Them to Different Perspectives
Travel, books, or even just conversations with people from different backgrounds can broaden their view of the world. Give kids the chance to explore different environments and try new things.
Let them learn to juggle, take a road trip to a quirky roadside attraction, or visit a museum where they can touch the exhibits. These new experiences will show them that there’s a big, vibrant world out there beyond their immediate desires.
15. Get Them a Pet
It’s time to get that dog you have been refusing. Pets are a great way to teach responsibility, compassion, and delayed gratification all at once. Kids learn that pets don’t clean up after themselves or take care of their needs.
They also have to wait for a pet’s love and affection, which teaches them that good things come to those who wait. They’ll also experience the consequences of not taking care of their furry friend’s needs, such as neglecting to feed them or giving them enough attention.
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I’m a Language and Literary Studies (Honors) graduate with 11 years of experience in magazine and blog writing and content creation. I’m passionate about storytelling for change and believe in the power of words to make a difference. My writing is thought-provoking, accessible, and engaging, focusing on the Psychology of human behavior, complex social issues, personal experiences, and the latest trends. I’m a wife and a Mom of three.
I’m a Language and Literary Studies (Honors) graduate with 11 years of experience in magazine and blog writing and content creation. I’m passionate about storytelling for change and believe in the power of words to make a difference. My writing is thought-provoking, accessible, and engaging, focusing on the Psychology of human behavior, complex social issues, personal experiences, and the latest trends. I’m a wife and a Mom of three.