14 Things Making You Anxious, Even Though They’re Not Your Responsibility

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Do you ever feel that knot in your stomach, like something’s wrong or everything’s about to crumble? Does it keep you from truly experiencing joy or excitement? Do you wring your hands and stay awake replaying your life in your mind and doing a post-mortem of your words and actions? That’s anxiety, and I totally get it because I’ve been there. Anxiety can sneak in from all sorts of places, often over things that aren’t even yours to worry about.

With office drama, global crises, inflation, your kid’s new attitude, and wondering why the Sahara Desert is flooding, it’s easy to take on stress that belongs to others. The real key to happiness is figuring out what truly belongs to you versus what you can leave outside the door of your mind.

If you’ve ever found yourself stressing over something that doesn’t directly impact your life, you’re definitely not alone. Here are some things that can trigger anxiety, even though they’re not yours to manage.

1. Other People’s Expectations

It’s hard not to feel like you’re under the microscope when you’re trying to meet someone else’s expectations. It could be your boss, a family member, or a friend who has an idea of how you should act, look, or perform.

The pressure to meet these standards can leave you feeling nervous and inadequate, especially when these expectations don’t align with your values or abilities. You’re not responsible for anyone else’s expectations.

2. The State of the World

You’ve likely found yourself worrying about the latest global crisis, be it climate change, political unrest, or social injustice. It’s important to stay informed, but it’s not your responsibility to fix everything happening in the world.

You can only do so much, and getting overwhelmed by everything outside your personal realm of control isn’t helpful. Instead of internalizing every headline, focus on what you can influence—your community, your actions, and the things that are within your direct reach. And stay off the news channels for a while and focus on yourself.

3. Someone Else’s Health Struggles

When a loved one is going through health struggles, it’s natural to feel worried or anxious. You might find yourself taking on their burden, feeling like you need to “do something” to help. But at some point, you have to acknowledge that you can’t control someone else’s health outcomes.

It’s painful to admit it, but this is their journey, and while your support is invaluable, it’s not your responsibility to heal them. Instead, continue to put your energy into offering encouragement, praying for them, providing emotional support, and advocating for them.

4. Workplace Drama

An office without drama is rare, indeed. Office politics and workplace drama may be common and even expected, but it can leave you feeling anxious, even when you’re not directly involved. Deadlines, reports, and emails not finding you well are stressful enough without taking on the stress of others.

Someone else’s bad attitude or the dysfunction in your office shouldn’t become your problem to solve. At some point, you need to draw a line between being a team player and becoming emotionally entangled in office conflicts.

5. Friends’ Personal Issues

People are going through a lot, and feeling empathetic is perfectly normal. You will want them to take your advice, but as wise as you imagine yourself to be, you can’t fix everything for your friends. Your support and listening ear are valuable, but you don’t have to absorb their struggles.

Supporting a friend doesn’t mean you have to carry their burdens. Allow them the space to deal with their own issues while offering encouragement and compassion. When you stop feeling responsible for their problems, you’ll feel a noticeable weight lift off your shoulders.

6. Other People’s Financial Problems

If a friend, family member, or partner is dealing with financial struggles, it’s easy to get wrapped up in their stress. It’s harsh, but it’s true—you’re not responsible for their finances, no matter how much you care about them.

You might worry about how they’re managing or feel the urge to help in ways that could affect your own financial stability. Resist the urge to throw your own money at their problems, and don’t let their financial woes bleed into your own peace of mind.

7. Social Media Comparison

Even the most mature of us have moments when we log on to social media, and a pang of envy bites, even if it’s for a few seconds. When you start comparing your life to others on social media, you will be perpetually anxious.

You know that people only post the highlights and photos with filters that wash away all the acne scars and blackheads, right? It’s easy to forget that everyone has their own struggles when photos are airbrushed within an inch of reality. The more you compare yourself to others, the more you let external factors dictate your self-worth.

8. The Fear of Missing Out

FOMO is a real thing. You might feel anxious about missing out on social events, career opportunities, or personal milestones. It’d be nice if we had this superpower, but it’s impossible to do everything or be everywhere.

When you start feeling overwhelmed by what you’re not participating in, remember that it’s okay to prioritize your time and energy. You can’t attend every event or jump on every opportunity, and that’s perfectly fine. Trust that the right things will come your way and that you’re exactly where you need to be.

9. The Burden of Being “The Strong One”

Sometimes, you might feel like you have to be the strong one in every situation—for friends, family, or colleagues. The pressure to always be the rock can be overwhelming, leaving you feeling anxious and isolated. You don’t have to shoulder everyone else’s burdens.

You’re not invincible. It’s okay to lean on others and ask for help when you need it. You don’t have to be strong all the time, and letting go of the expectations that you are always strong and reliable can help you manage your anxiety.

10. Family Conflict

Here’s an uncomfortable thought: Families fight, relatives hate each other, and sometimes people grow apart. If you’re caught in the middle, you might feel a little anxious about keeping the peace or playing the role of mediator.

Let go of the idea that you need to fix family drama. Your role is to be supportive, not to become the peacekeeper. When you stop trying to resolve every family issue, you’ll find your mental space much freer, and your own happiness will become a priority.

11. Unnecessary Guilt

Sometimes, anxiety stems from guilt over things that aren’t your fault. You might feel responsible for someone else’s feelings or circumstances, but the truth is that guilt isn’t always a reflection of reality.

Acknowledge your feelings, but don’t let guilt over things you can’t control take up valuable mental space. If you didn’t cause the situation, you’re not responsible for mending it.

12. The Need to be Perfect

Perfection doesn’t exist, and you don’t need to chase it. Perfectionism is a leading cause of anxiety, especially when you feel like you have to do everything flawlessly. Trying to be perfect in every part of your life—work, relationships, personal achievements—can leave you feeling exhausted and overwhelmed.

Give yourself the okay to make mistakes and learn from them. Embrace the idea that imperfection is just part of being human. The sooner you let go of the pressure to be perfect, the sooner you’ll feel a sense of relief and freedom.

13. Other People’s Decisions

What do you do if your friend is making a risky career move or your elder brother decides to drop out of college? It’s easy to feel anxious over decisions made by others, especially when those choices could impact you.

When someone you love chooses a path that doesn’t seem wise, you might feel responsible for steering them back on a course or even worry about how their choices will affect your life. Unfortunately, their decisions are beyond your control. Offering advice or support is fine, but ultimately, they are responsible for their path.

14. Negative Reactions

It’s only natural to care about how people react to you, but you don’t need to let their responses dictate your mood or actions. A co-worker’s feedback on a project or a friend’s opinion on your latest idea can leave you overanalyzing every comment, questioning if you should have done things differently, or feeling pressure to keep everyone happy.

Others’ responses often reflect their own perspectives or moods, which are out of your control. Trying to manage their feelings will only drain your energy. Focus on acting with integrity and letting go of attachment to their reactions.

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