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15 Ways We Constantly Undermine Our Own Happiness

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It’s difficult to imagine someone who doesn’t want to be happy. We all strive for happiness in our lives and try to do everything we can to achieve it, right? Yet, our actions speak louder than our words. We all know those people who always seem to be in some kind of drama or complaining about their latest problem (and maybe it’s you).

Are they bringing it onto themselves? Are they doing it intentionally? Likely not.

In reality, we often unknowingly sabotage our own happiness without even realizing it. Are you jeopardizing your own happiness? What bad habits and patterns are you or a loved one falling into that seem to be repeating a cycle of discontent and unhappiness?

1. Falling into Past Habits

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We tend to repeat the same old patterns and behaviors that we have been doing for years, even if they no longer serve us. We hold on to past grudges, negative thought patterns, and self-destructive habits. This not only prevents us from moving forward but also hinders our ability to be happy in the present.

Consciously addressing past trauma and behaviors can help break this cycle and pave the way for a happier and more fulfilling life.

2. Comparing Yourself to Others

Upset Girl
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The rise of social media has made it even easier for us to compare ourselves to others constantly. We often see only the highlight reel of someone else’s life while comparing it to our behind-the-scenes footage. This constant comparison leads us to feel inadequate and diminishes our own self-worth.

Instead of comparing ourselves to others, we should focus on our own journey and celebrate our own accomplishments. Everyone’s path is unique, and true happiness lies in embracing that uniqueness.

3. Chasing External Validation

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We often seek validation from others, whether through likes on social media or compliments from friends and family. While it’s natural to want to feel appreciated, relying solely on external validation for our happiness can be damaging.

True happiness comes from within and is not dependent on others’ opinions or approval. Building a strong sense of self-worth and confidence can help us break free from the need for external validation.

4. Holding onto Resentment

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Holding grudges and resentment towards others can consume us and prevent us from moving forward. It’s important to learn how to forgive and let go of past hurts to make room for happiness in our lives.

This doesn’t mean excusing someone’s actions but rather releasing the negative emotions that come with holding onto them. Forgiveness is not about the other person; it’s about freeing ourselves from the burden of resentment.

5. Neglecting Self-Care

Young Man is siting with wall and in tension
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We often get caught up in the busyness of life and neglect taking care of ourselves. This can lead to burnout, stress, and unhappiness. It’s important to prioritize self-care and make time for activities that bring joy and relaxation into our lives.

Self-care looks different for everyone, but it can include things like exercise, meditation, spending time in nature, or indulging in a hobby. Taking care of ourselves is crucial for maintaining our overall well-being and happiness.

6. Constant Complaining

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Complaining can become a habit we don’t even realize we’re doing. While it’s natural to vent and express frustrations, constantly complaining can create a negative mindset and drain our energy.

Instead of focusing on the negatives, try practicing gratitude and shifting your perspective to find the positives in any situation. This can help cultivate a more positive outlook and lead to increased happiness.

7. Negative Self-Talk

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The way we talk to ourselves can have a significant impact on our happiness. Negative self-talk can lower our self-confidence and prevent us from reaching our full potential.

It’s important to recognize when we are being too hard on ourselves and try to replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations. Building a more compassionate inner dialogue can greatly improve our overall well-being and happiness.

8. Feeling Unworthy of Happiness

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Some people may have a deep-seated belief that they do not deserve happiness. This can stem from past experiences or negative beliefs about oneself.

Challenging these thoughts and reminding ourselves that we are worthy of love, joy, and happiness is important. Everyone deserves to be happy, starting with believing we deserve it.

9. Staying at a Job You Hate

A depressed employee who is being ignored during a meeting happening in a meeting room
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Many people spend a significant amount of their lives working, so it’s important to find a job or career that brings fulfillment and happiness. Staying at a job that makes you miserable can have a negative impact on your overall well-being.

If possible, try making your current job more enjoyable or consider pursuing a different career path. Remember that our jobs do not define us, and finding happiness in our work can greatly improve our overall happiness.

10. Not Setting Boundaries

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Boundaries are crucial for maintaining healthy relationships and overall well-being. Without clear boundaries, we may overextend ourselves or tolerate behaviors that make us unhappy.

Learning to set and communicate boundaries can help protect our own happiness and ensure that our needs are being met. It’s important to recognize when someone is crossing our boundaries and assert ourselves calmly and respectfully.

11. Hanging Out with Toxic People

Bad girl happy as her friend is sad
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The people we surround ourselves with greatly influence our happiness. Toxic relationships can drain us and bring negativity into our lives.

It’s important to evaluate the people in our lives and distance ourselves from those who consistently bring us down or cause harm. Surrounding ourselves with positive, supportive, and uplifting individuals can greatly improve our overall happiness.

12. Focusing on Everyone Else’s Needs

A Bored and tired Employee Sitting in his Office
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As caring individuals, we often prioritize the needs of others above our own. While it’s important to be there for our loved ones, neglecting our own needs can lead to burnout and unhappiness.

Learning to set healthy boundaries and say no when necessary is crucial for prioritizing our own happiness. Remember that caring for ourselves allows us to better care for those around us.

13. Not Setting Goals

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Having goals gives us a sense of purpose and direction in life. Without them, we may feel lost or stagnant.

Setting realistic and achievable goals can give us something to strive for and a sense of accomplishment when we reach them. This can greatly contribute to our overall happiness and fulfillment in life.

14. Chronic Procrastination

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Procrastination can be a major barrier to our happiness. Putting off tasks or responsibilities can lead to stress, guilt, and feelings of inadequacy.

By breaking tasks into smaller, manageable chunks and setting deadlines, we can overcome procrastination and improve our overall well-being. Accomplishing goals and being productive can bring a sense of satisfaction and happiness into our lives.

15. Dwelling on the Past

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Focusing too much on the past can prevent us from living in the present and moving forward with our lives. It’s important to acknowledge and learn from past experiences, but dwelling on them can hinder our happiness.

Practicing mindfulness and staying present can help us let go of the past and focus on creating a better present and future for ourselves. Remember that happiness is found in the present moment, not in dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.

Happiness is a journey, and it takes effort and self-awareness to cultivate it in our lives. By avoiding these common habits, we can develop healthier mindsets and lifestyles that contribute to our overall happiness and wellness.

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Scared of lagging behind or staying in the same position? Well, let’s talk about it! In this article, we’ll find 12 common traits of unsuccessful people who never do anything with their lives so that you won’t be one of them. 

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money guru Suze Orman
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If you’ve ever watched her show, you know Suze Orman pulls no punches. She’s all about calling out bad money choices, urging people to take control of their financial destinies and ditch those pesky spending habits that derail progress. While her advice can be blunt, she aims to empower folks to build wealth and protect their financial futures.

It’s important to note, Suze Orman gets flak sometimes for being too harsh. She’s not shaming people, but highlighting how certain expenses can sabotage big goals like homeownership or a comfortable retirement.

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The average American household carries over $103,000 in debt, including mortgages, credit cards, and car loans. While there are various factors that contribute to this staggering number, there are also certain culturally acceptable habits that have played a major role in leaving America drowning in debt.

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