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12 Red Flags of Fake Friendliness

12 Red Flags of Fake Friendliness

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We all prefer interactions with kind individuals who value honesty and trust, avoiding the company of mean, deceitful, or rude people. But what about the ones only pretending to be nice or friendly?

There may be instances where we encounter deceptive displays of niceness, often realizing the truth too late. It can feel ingenuine and make us uneasy right from the start, yet we can’t quite put our finger on the problem since they’re being so “nice.”

People who make overstated efforts to appear unreasonably nice often harbor a hidden agenda, likely with harmful ulterior motives. Or maybe they’re just really good at showing different sides of their personalities to different people, depending on their mood and needs.

Identifying insincere kindness from a friend, family member, or co-worker early on can spare you considerable heartache. Here’s how to detect it from a distance.

1. They Go Overboard With Compliments

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Giving people compliments is a good thing, but fake-nice people make unreasonable compliments, exaggerating even the minutest details.

If a small gesture from you leads them to praise you like you saved a life, they may be faking it.

2. The Niceness Ends Randomly

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Do you have a friend who blows hot and cold unpredictably? If today you’re the best of friends and the following day they aren’t speaking to you, and you can’t tell what went wrong, you’re dealing with a fake-nice pal.

3. Constant Broken Promises

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Honest people strive to keep their promises; when they don’t, they have a plausible explanation. Fake-nice people will promise you the world and deliver a plastic globe model or nothing at all.

If promises are broken without much explanation or for flimsy reasons that are hard to comprehend, it’s time to do an audit of the friendship or relationship.

4. They Love To Spill the Tea

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A friendship that seems to be based solely on gossip and spilling the tea on what’s going on in other people’s lives is not a genuine friendship.

A “friend” who thrives on giving you the latest dirt on Cathy from church is being fake nice.

5. You Know Little About Them

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Do you have a friend who knows a lot about you (and many others), yet you have very scanty information about them?

Such a person deliberately keeps information from you and may be hiding a secret life or a hidden motive.

6. They Crave Attention and Praise

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If your “friend” thrives on heaps of praise and feels threatened if they aren’t praised even for little things, you may be dealing with a fake-nice friend.

While being appreciated for your achievements and good deeds is wonderful, it’s not supposed to be forced on people to heap praise on you.

7. Becoming Overly Intimate Too Fast

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If you meet them today and in three days, they already have an endearment term for you and a nickname, it’s good to take a step back and evaluate the association.

If an acquaintance starts behaving like you have known each other since kindergarten, they may be vying for a seat in your friendship corner- but with ill intent.

8. They’re Too Judgemental

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A fake-nice person uses people for personal gain, and they will be very judgmental of the people they deem useless for their objectives.

People aren’t just people to them; their value depends on what they can get from them. If a friend is always rating the people around him or her on a personal scale, you may want to discard them.

9. They Try Too Hard

VIP Treatment by Bestie
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Are you suddenly receiving VIP treatment you don’t think you deserve from someone you’re not convinced you should be giving it to? If they’re trying too hard to make you feel like royalty, and you don’t see why, you should review your relationship.

10. They Exploit Your Weaknesses

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A fake-nice person will research and observe your weaknesses and insecurities, and they will use them against you when an opportunity arises.

If you were vulnerable with them at a time when they were nice, and they seem to thrive on making you feel bad or useless because of that, consider cutting ties with them.

11. They’re Always Right

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A person who’s trying to be something they aren’t doesn’t like it when they are told they’re wrong. When you call out a “friend” for something they did, and they promptly remind you of all the times they did nice things for you, then their nice deeds weren’t pure.

12. They Lie A Lot

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Some people prefer to lie to be liked rather than be their authentic selves and establish genuine friendships.

If someone hides or lies about certain aspects of themselves or a situation, their niceness isn’t genuine, regardless of how they tried to portray it previously.


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