When it comes to men, there are two important questions: what makes a good man? How do you raise a boy to become a good man?
The day I found out I was having boy, I panicked! My firstborn was a girl, and I had a good grasp of navigating those waters. But a boy? Oh my! How do I make a whole man out of a small boy? Raising boys doesn’t come with a manual, no perfect blueprint, and definitely no “one-size-fits-all” solution. But every parent, guardian, or mentor who embarks on this journey shares a common goal: nurturing young boys to grow into kind, strong, and courageous men.
Ready to raise a future man you can be proud of? Here are some simple but powerful strategies that can help along the way.
1. Urge Them to Communicate and Own Their Feelings
Boys are often raised with the misguided belief that talking about emotions is a sign of weakness. Let’s debunk that myth early on. Urging boys to articulate how they feel not only makes them more emotionally intelligent but also helps them navigate life’s challenges with grace.
Encourage open conversations, even when they seem uncomfortable. Give them the vocabulary to describe their feelings without shame. The more practice they get in expressing themselves now, the better equipped they’ll be to handle emotional complexities as they grow.
2. Model Respect in Every Interaction
You cannot tell your son to be respectful if they see you curse other drivers in traffic and yell at your spouse. If a boy regularly witnesses considerate interactions, they’ll learn to mirror them. This goes for how you speak to friends, family, and even strangers at the grocery store.
You’re not just training them to be polite, but acknowledging the worth and dignity of every person they encounter.
3. Glorify Accountability
The world is full of “it wasn’t me” men, don’t add another one. Teaching accountability is about making them own their actions—whether they succeed or stumble. If something goes wrong, instead of swooping in to fix it, use it as a learning moment. Ask them what went wrong and how they can make it right.
Boys who grow up understanding accountability are more likely to develop into responsible men who admit when they’re wrong and work to fix their mistakes.
4. Encourage Empathy
If we want boys to grow into men who care about others, we need to cultivate empathy early. This goes beyond saying “sorry” when they’ve done something wrong. It means showing them how to genuinely consider how their actions affect others.
Create moments for them to see the world from different perspectives. Buy them books, tell them stories, or share your life experiences; encourage them to think deeply about other people’s feelings and situations. Boys who understand empathy will grow into compassionate, thoughtful, and kind men.
5. Train Them to Be Independent
Have you seen a man who, at 37, is still living in his mother’s basement and can’t keep a job or pay bills? It’s the mooching more than the basement living that the problem. He’s deficient in independence, and I bet you don’t think he’s a very good man. Introduce independence when they’re young.
Independence doesn’t mean throwing them into the deep end without a life jacket. Slowly allow them to make decisions, take risks, and experience the outcomes of those choices. It’s giving them room to explore their capabilities while letting them know you’ll always have their back if things go south.
6. Inspire Curiosity and Critical Thinking
The world is full of easy answers, but raising boys into good men requires boosting their ability to question and think critically. Let them know that curiosity is a gift and that it’s okay not to know everything. What’s important is the willingness to explore and learn.
Encouraging a curious mind allows boys to see the world from different angles and avoid being trapped by stereotypes or rigid thinking.
7. Promote Healthy Relationships
As boys grow into men, their understanding of relationships will heavily influence how they treat others. Tell them about the importance of consent in all types of relationships—normal friendships, romantic connections, or professional partnerships.
Discussing these topics early helps boys navigate relationships with clarity. They’ll grow up understanding that healthy interactions are built on trust and a clear sense of boundaries.
8. Exalt Humility
Humility is an undervalued but essential trait in a world where everyone’s encouraged to shout their achievements from the rooftops. It’s okay to celebrate success, but it’s just as important to acknowledge the contributions of others and recognize their own limitations.
Humility doesn’t mean downplaying their abilities. Instead, it shows strength in praising someone else who has done a better job and not bragging about their prowess.
9. Support Their Passions
See that unique spark in the little boy? Fan it, even if it seems a bit unconventional. It may be an interest in art, science, or ballet; let go of your expectations and support them wholeheartedly. If they’re struggling, help them find their passion.
Show them that pursuing their passions is positive, even if it doesn’t fit traditional molds. By supporting their individuality, you’re guiding them to value creativity, self-expression, and confidence in their unique path.
10. Teach Financial Responsibility
A man reckless with money is a headache to everyone. It’s never too early to train boys about managing money wisely. Start with the basics of saving, budgeting, and even charitable giving. Boys who understand how to handle money grow into financially responsible men.
Financial literacy is one of the most valuable life skills a man can have, and the earlier it’s taught, the more ingrained it becomes. If you give them allowances, give it with the condition they manage it well or let them handle small purchases and learn from their decisions.
11. Exhort Physical and Mental Health
A staggering 6 Million men struggle with depression every year, and most of them go undiagnosed. Don’t add to the statistics; train them in mindfulness, journaling, or simply taking breaks to recharge.
Don’t just push weights and grow biceps; show them that a healthy mind is as crucial as a strong body. Instill in them the importance of balance. A man who values his mental and physical well-being is better equipped to handle the demands of adulthood with clarity and strength.
12. Practice Gratitude
It’s more than just saying “Thank You”. They should appreciate what they have, not just in the material sense but also in terms of relationships, opportunities, and experiences.
Practicing gratitude helps them develop a positive mindset and fosters emotional resilience. Encourage them to reflect on the good in their lives. They can start by acknowledging acts of kindness, and they will become men who recognize the beauty in everyday moments.
13. Show Them How to Resolve Conflicts
Conflict is inevitable, but how one handles it can make all the difference. Equip boys with the tools to resolve disagreements calmly rather than through anger or aggression.
They must remember to listen actively, express their needs clearly, and find compromise where possible. We want boys to grow into men who handle conflicts with maturity and composure.
14. Help Them See the World Beyond Their Bubble
It’s crucial for boys to understand and appreciate diversity, especially now that the world is a village. Exposing them to different cultures, perspectives, and ways of life broadens their worldview and encourages them to embrace differences rather than fear them.
This exposure can come through travel, books, media, or in simple conversations about various cultural practices and traditions. Boys who grow up valuing diversity become men who are open-minded.
15. Allow Them to Fail
Allow boys to make mistakes and experience failures. They’re learning resilience and the importance of perseverance, and they won’t resign from their first job because the manager looked at them “funny.”
Encourage them to view setbacks as learning opportunities rather than final defeats. Instilling a mindset that embraces failure as a natural part of life helps them to become adaptable.
16. Expose Them to Good Men
Boys learn a lot from the company they keep, so it’s essential to surround them with positive male role models. Exposing them to good men—family members, coaches, teachers, or friends—helps them see what healthy, responsible masculinity looks like in action.
These men provide examples of strength, kindness, and integrity, offering boys a tangible roadmap for their own growth. Take the time to introduce them to men who embody the values you want them to learn.
17. Prepare Them to Be Gentlemen
Being a gentleman goes beyond wearing suits and acting with courtesy. Show boys that being a gentleman means listening attentively, speaking kindly, and acting considerately towards others.
Encourage them to help those in need, stand up for what is right, treat everyone fairly, and show up with integrity. We need boys who will bring class to any situation.
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I’m a Language and Literary Studies (Honors) graduate with 11 years of experience in magazine and blog writing and content creation. I’m passionate about storytelling for change and believe in the power of words to make a difference. My writing is thought-provoking, accessible, and engaging, focusing on the Psychology of human behavior, complex social issues, personal experiences, and the latest trends. I’m a wife and a Mom of three.
