14 Tips for Good Holiday Houseguest Etiquette

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The holidays are a magical time to reconnect with loved ones, soak in the seasonal cheer, and, for many, temporarily move into someone else’s home. Visiting family or friends during the holidays can be a delightful experience—unless you unintentionally leave a trail of social mishaps in your wake.

Good manners are…well…good, but being a good guest is more about thoughtfulness and adaptability. It’s easy to underestimate how much effort goes into hosting—tidying up every nook, preparing meals, and confirming there’s toilet paper in every bathroom. Nobody wants to be “that guest,” but navigating the unspoken rules of houseguest etiquette can feel like an art form.

If you’re looking to leave your hosts smiling rather than sighing in relief as you pack up, take note of these practical tips.

1. Let Your Hosts Know Your Arrival Details

Surprises are fantastic, except when you show up at someone’s home with no warning. Nobody enjoys guessing games when it comes to schedules. Share your travel plans ahead of time so your hosts know when to expect you.

Arriving without notice—or worse, showing up hours before or after you said you would—throws off everyone’s plans. A clear arrival window helps your hosts prepare and sets a positive tone for your stay.

2. Pack Thoughtfully

You might think you need all five suitcases, but hauling a mountain of luggage into someone else’s space can create unnecessary stress. Bring only what you need and pack items that are easy to store.

Double-check your list if you’re prone to forgetting essentials like toothpaste or pajamas. Although they will likely put some toiletries in your room, hosts shouldn’t have to play personal concierge to fill in the gaps because of your packing oversight.

3. Offer to Help Without Hovering

Pitching in shows you’re aware of the effort that goes into hosting and that you genuinely appreciate it. Offer to help by asking what’s needed—setting the table, clearing dishes, or even running a quick errand. Small actions can go a long way in easing the workload and showing your gratitude.

That said, balance is everything. Jumping in too aggressively or trying to micromanage their systems can disrupt the host’s flow. Instead, focus on being attentive and helpful while respecting the way their home operates. Thoughtful assistance speaks volumes without stepping on toes.

4. Respect the House Rules

Every household has its own rhythm and rules, whether it’s removing shoes indoors, keeping noise levels down after 8 p.m., or sticking to a specific dinner schedule. Pay attention to these preferences and follow them without making a fuss.

If something feels unfamiliar, adapt with grace rather than questioning it. Adhering to these unwritten guidelines signals respect for your hosts’ space and routines.

5. Keep Your Space Tidy

Your space doesn’t need to resemble a freshly cleaned hotel room, but it shouldn’t look like a tornado touched down, either. Make the bed, organize your belongings, and tidy up daily.

If you’re using a shared bathroom, leave it in the condition you found it—or better. Nobody wants to deal with wet towels on the floor or a countertop full of empty travel toiletries.

6. Bring a Thoughtful Host Gift

Showing up empty-handed can feel a little lackluster. A small token of appreciation—like a bottle of wine, homemade cookies, or a bouquet of flowers—sets a positive tone.

While extravagant gifts aren’t necessary, something personal and thoughtful goes a long way in expressing your gratitude. It shows you appreciate your host and the effort they’ve put into having you in their home.

7. Communicate Dietary Needs in Advance

Food is a big part of holiday gatherings, so if you have allergies or dietary restrictions, let your hosts know well before your arrival. This helps them plan meals without scrambling at the last minute.

Don’t expect your hosts to cater exclusively to your preferences. Instead, offer to bring something you can eat or prepare it yourself as part of the meal.

8. Be Punctual for Meals and Activities

The holidays often come with packed schedules. Respect the effort your hosts put into planning meals or outings by showing up on time. Don’t be the one strolling down the stairs at 10 a.m. for a breakfast spread that was cleaned up hours ago.

Consistently running late can frustrate the entire group or family and derail plans. A little timeliness signals you value the effort they’ve put into the holiday experience.

9. Take Care of Your Own Laundry

If your stay lasts more than a few days, you may need to wash a few items. Don’t assume your hosts will do it for you. Ask where the laundry facilities are and manage your own loads.

Your host likely has a laundry plan in place for you. Be mindful of time and avoid monopolizing the washer or dryer. Sharing space means sharing resources responsibly.

10. Don’t Overstay Your Welcome

No matter how warm the hospitality is, every visit has an expiration date. Be clear about your departure plans and stick to them. Lingering beyond your agreed-upon stay can strain your hosts’ patience.

A timely exit leaves them with fond memories rather than a countdown to reclaim their home. And you will have earned yourself another invite in the future.

11. Keep the Noise Down

Houses can amplify sounds more than you’d expect. Be mindful of your volume, especially during early mornings or late nights. If you’re a night owl or an early riser, use headphones or find quiet activities that won’t disturb anyone else.

Don’t make loud, endless calls when the rest of the house is trying to sleep. Keep your private conversations private and excuse yourself if you need to make such calls.

12. Limit Your Screen Time at the Table

Screen addictions have become the bane of humanity’s existence. While it’s tempting to scroll through holiday memes or snap photos of the feast, keep your phone tucked away during meals. It’s a time for connection, not distraction. If you need a second to document the moment, take a photo and then put the phone away.

Engage in conversation and make the effort to be present. You don’t want to be the guest smiling at memes when the host is trying to ask how your day was. Your hosts will appreciate the gesture of undivided attention.

13. Handle Disagreements Diplomatically

You’re expecting a stress-free holiday, but holiday gatherings, especially with family, can sometimes bring out differences in opinions or lifestyles. If tensions arise, steer the conversation to lighter topics or excuse yourself for a moment.

Arguing over the dinner table rarely ends well. A little tact keeps the atmosphere friendly and avoids unnecessary drama.

14. Offer Gratitude Daily

While a heartfelt thank-you at the end of your stay is essential, expressing gratitude throughout your visit shows you genuinely value their efforts. Appreciating the small ways they’ve gone out of their way to make you feel welcome can make your appreciation feel sincere and meaningful.

Even small gestures of gratitude, like complimenting a delicious breakfast or admiring their home’s decor, can leave a lasting impression. These moments of credit highlight that you notice and respect the details they’ve thoughtfully prepared.

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