It feels like just yesterday we were youthful, reveling in late-night clubbing. Maybe we’ll still go out on the town occasionally, but the next day will be rough.
As we age, we inevitably catch ourselves doing classically “old” things, such as adjusting the car stereo volume for better visibility on the road. Aging frequently slips unnoticed, but upon closer inspection, subtle hints emerge, signaling that we are no longer in the bloom of youth.
Online users reveal the “old person” things they do that reveal they’re no spring chicken anymore.
1. Going to Bed Early
Youngins can stay up as late as they want, but when you start dosing off at 9:30 PM, you have entered the old people’s group chat. People admit to getting grumpy when there is too much noise in their neighborhood at 10:01, even on the weekends. Don’t they know people are trying to sleep?
2. Creeping Becomes More Natural
There’s a curiosity that comes with old age, and every sound outside calls for your attention. The curiosity comes with the need [or laziness] not to venture outside to see what’s making the sound, and the best alternative is to peep through the curtain. A grumpy old man or woman is the perfect candidate for the neighborhood watch.
3. Worrying About What You Eat
There was a time when you’d gobble anything without a care in the world, but if you wonder what your food will do to your body, you’re officially entering old-ville. People find themselves wondering if certain foods are worth the heartburn or gas they will have to deal with- and it’s a very valid question, who wants to deal with that?
4. Losing Sleep Early
In the earlier decades, you’d sleep up to 10 AM when you had nowhere to go. And now, regardless of what time you sleep, you wake up at the same time every day (or so it goes for many people in their alter decades). You can’t seem to gather enough sleep to sleep in. It’s like we reverted to our sleep habits as kids when 6 am was always the time to bounce off our bed, much to our parent’s disappointment.
5. Soliloquy
As we age, inside thoughts start seeping through and becoming outside voices. If you’ve been talking a lot to yourself lately, you’re in the fast lane to old age. For example, you might find yourself grumbling out loud about the costs of groceries while out shopping.
6. Noisily Standing Up
Rising up from a sitting position was once easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy, but now, your standing up is accompanied by soundtracks. For some, grunting when getting up from a comfy chair can just feel easier with a few grunts and guffaws.
7. You’re Automatically Getting Senior Discounts
Does your face [and hair] get you an automatic seniors’ discount even if you aren’t close to eligible? Who will argue with the saved money if they aren’t offended by people’s assumptions about their age?
8. Wearing Sensible Shoes
Style was once an excellent consideration for your footwear, but now the primary consideration is how comfortable the shoes will be. Spending the day in shoes that hurt or cause blisters isn’t worth it.
9. Old-Fashioned Exclamations
Cussing seems to vanish as we age, and our exclamations get old-fashioned. If your way of complaining has been reduced to “Goodness gracious” and “Shoot,” you might be getting old. And depending on how often use these words, a bit grumpy too.
10. Sleeping On The Couch
Falling asleep on the couch involuntarily is a tell-tale of old age creeping on you. For some, no matter what show is on, they just can’t keep their eyes open anymore once they settle into their favorite spot.
11. Talking To Things
Inanimate things like machines start looking human, and you may even start conversing with them. If you find yourself yelling at a door that won’t close or chatting up the broken lawnmower to see what their problem is, you might be getting old.
12. Watching Jeopardy
The American game show Jeopardy is beloved by many but lesser known to young ones. If you find yourself enjoying an episode of Jeopardy anytime you’re bored, then old age is creeping in. Don’t get too mad about it, though—it’s a great show!
13. Your Bones Now Talk
There’s no more break-dancing with abandon because your bones have now acquired language, and they talk whenever you make sudden movements. Knees cracking when taking the stairs and random pops when getting up from a chair are signs of getting older. And if they are accompanied by pain, they can quickly make a person grumpy.
14. Low Key Amnesia
Words are slowly getting lost. And you may spend more than a minute remembering where you placed the keys. Welcome to the beginning of aging.
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JayDee Vykoukal is a writer, author, mom, and Doctor of Physical Therapy. She has been writing about everything motherhood and health-related since 2018 when her first daughter was born, and she wanted to stay home. She loves to research new topics and fun facts with her kids to teach them about the world.
