The sinking feeling that a marriage is likely on its last leg is one of the worst realizations ever. If your marriage is struggling, you will probably hear endlessly from well-meaning friends and family that you need to fight for it. Whether or not you have the energy to fight isn’t the biggest question, though. What you really need to ask yourself is, “Is this marriage worth saving?”
Marriages end for many reasons, and being objective about why yours is on the fritz is the first step to fighting your way out of the mess. It’s easy to shift blame (and one person often has done more harm than the other), but ultimately both parties contribute to the success or failure of a marriage. Regardless of who has done what, saving a marriage has to be a shared effort.
Are you looking for the signs to clue you in if your marriage is worth fighting for? Here are a few things to look out for in a marriage that is worth another chance.
1. There’s Still Respect Between You
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Many will argue that love is respect. If you and your partner still treat each other with kindness and consideration, it’s a strong sign that your marriage has a solid foundation. How does your partner talk to you? Do they listen actively, speak honestly, and avoid belittling or dismissing your viewpoints?
When respect is present, it shows that both parties are willing to maintain a level of decorum that keeps the relationship stable. This mutual regard can be the starting point for resolving deeper issues and strengthening your bond.
2. You Still Love Each Other
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If you have been together this long, there must have been the love that brought you together in the first place. If you both acknowledge that the love is still there, it’s a significant sign that the relationship is worth fighting for. Love can manifest in small gestures, shared memories, and a genuine concern for each other’s well-being.
Acknowledging that the love is still alive provides a powerful motivation to work through challenges. It reminds you both why you chose each other and why the relationship is valuable.
3. You’re Both Committed to the Relationship
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Commitment is crucial for any long-term relationship. How does your partner show you they’re committed to salvaging the relationship? You can see it in their willingness to do things to strengthen the relationship. Are they willing to read relationship books together or make time to discuss and resolve issues?
Being committed means being prepared to face the ups and downs together. It means being ready to invest time and energy and sometimes compromise to ensure the relationship flourishes. This mutual dedication is a hopeful sign for the future.
4. The Communication Lines are Open
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Communication is the lifeline of any relationship. If both parties are open to discussing problems and working through them together, it’s a positive sign. Effective communication involves talking, listening, and understanding each other’s perspectives.
Willingness to talk indicates that both partners are invested in finding solutions rather than just assigning blame. It shows a readiness to understand each other’s viewpoints.
5. The Misunderstanding Is External
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Does the problem pulling you apart have little to do with your relationship? Sometimes, marital issues stem from external factors like work stress, financial troubles, or family pressures. If the core of your relationship is still strong and outside influences are causing the misunderstandings, it’s a sign that the marriage can be saved.
Knowing that the marriage itself isn’t the problem can shift the focus from blaming each other to tackling the external issues as a team. This will truly strengthen the marital bond.
6. You Value Spending Time Together
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Do you still enjoy each other’s company? Spending quality time together is essential for maintaining a strong connection, and it’s a good sign that the marriage is worth saving. These togetherness moments can help rekindle the spark and reinforce the emotional bond.
Shared activities, whether simple or elaborate, help you reconnect and rediscover each other. Valuing these moments indicates that the relationship still holds joy and companionship, which are vital for a healthy marriage.
7. You’re Ready to Get Professional Help
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Seeking professional help shows a willingness to improve the relationship. If both partners agree to attend counseling or therapy, it’s a sign that the marriage is worth saving. Professional guidance can provide new perspectives, tools, and strategies to address and resolve ongoing issues.
Therapists offer a neutral ground for discussing sensitive topics and can help break down negative patterns. This readiness to seek support demonstrates a serious dedication to healing.
8. Marriage Means a Lot to You
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If the institution of marriage holds significant value for both partners, it’s a strong motivator to work through difficulties. This value can stem from personal beliefs, cultural traditions, or a deep-seated personal commitment.
When marriage is seen as more than just a contract but as a meaningful partnership, it gives a strong reason to work towards saving the marriage. This shared value can inspire both partners to invest in the relationship and its future.
9. The Problems Are Kids-Related
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Kids are great, but sometimes, the parents’ fights may relate to the children. Parenting can bring its own set of challenges to a marriage. If the primary issues are related to parenting styles or children, it’s a sign that the marriage itself may still be strong. Addressing these specific issues can often alleviate the strain on the relationship.
Understanding these issues are situational and solvable can shift the focus from conflict to teamwork. This can restore harmony and reinforce the unity of the family.
10. You Both Acknowledge Your Imperfections
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What was your contribution to the current state of the marriage? A crucial sign that your marriage is worth saving is your willingness to recognize and accept your own flaws. Every individual has imperfections, and acknowledging them is a significant step toward personal growth and a healthy relationship.
When both of you can admit your mistakes and take responsibility for your actions, it cultivates an environment of mutual respect and understanding. Embracing each other’s imperfections while striving to improve creates a partnership rooted in authenticity and empathy.
11. You Both Recognize Family is First
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Is family your top priority? When both partners acknowledge the importance of putting family first, it creates a unified purpose. This common ground can be incredibly powerful in overcoming marital difficulties.
Recognizing that the well-being of your children and the family unit takes precedence over individual conflicts can drive both partners to work harder at resolving issues. It promotes a team mentality, where both of you are focused on nurturing a stable and loving environment.
12. Thoughts of Leaving Are Unbearable
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Is the thought of disintegrating your family keeping you awake? When the idea of leaving your partner is unimaginable, it indicates a deep emotional connection that should not be underestimated. This strong attachment suggests that you sincerely value your relationship despite the challenges.
When the thought of separation feels unbearable, it clearly indicates that the marriage holds a significant place in your heart. This motivates both partners to invest in preserving and strengthening the relationship.
13. You’re Holding on to the Happy Memories
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Holding on to the happy memories you’ve built together can be a powerful force in saving your marriage. These cherished moments remind you of the love and joy you once shared, offering hope and inspiration during challenging times.
Whether it’s your wedding day, the birth of your children, or everyday moments, recalling these times can reignite the spark and remind you of your relationship’s strength. Focusing on the good times makes it easier to work through difficulties.
14. You Trust One Another
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Trust is the cornerstone of any meaningful relationship, and its presence indicates a solid foundation in your marriage. When you genuinely trust your partner, it means you have confidence in their intentions, actions, and commitment to the relationship.
Having trust in your marriage allows for vulnerability, which strengthens your emotional connection. It means believing your partner has your best interests at heart, even when misunderstandings occur.
I’m a Language and Literary Studies (Honors) graduate with 11 years of experience in magazine and blog writing and content creation. I’m passionate about storytelling for change and believe in the power of words to make a difference. My writing is thought-provoking, accessible, and engaging, focusing on the Psychology of human behavior, complex social issues, personal experiences, and the latest trends. I’m a wife and a Mom of three.
I’m a Language and Literary Studies (Honors) graduate with 11 years of experience in magazine and blog writing and content creation. I’m passionate about storytelling for change and believe in the power of words to make a difference. My writing is thought-provoking, accessible, and engaging, focusing on the Psychology of human behavior, complex social issues, personal experiences, and the latest trends. I’m a wife and a Mom of three.
