Politeness is a great virtue, and everyone loves to interact with someone who has graduated from the school of good manners. Yet, have you ever encountered individuals who take politeness to an extreme—almost to a fault?
Certain polite behaviors can become rather irksome, depending on the context and cultural norms, especially when overdone or if they feel insincere.
Research shows the annoying person may not even know they’re being annoying. So whether it’s you or a loved one with these tendencies, here are a few habits intended to be polite that may, in certain situations, be perceived as more annoying than courteous.
1. Overusing Apologies
We’re taught to say “sorry” from the moment we learn to talk, but apologies can go overboard and be irritating. Constantly apologizing for trivial matters can come across as insincere and may annoy others.
2. Overuse of Sir or Ma’am
It’s wonderful to call people by their titles; many appreciate it when they’re respected that way. While intended as a sign of respect, excessive use of titles can sound overly formal and distant.
3. Over-the-Top Compliments
Offering compliments is a show of appreciation and love, and most people love a good compliment. Exaggerated compliments may come off as insincere or even patronizing and annoying.
4. Over-Tidiness in Shared Spaces
No one wants to live with a slob who never picks after themselves, but living with someone who’s overly obsessed with being tidy is not any better. Constantly cleaning shared spaces may be perceived as controlling rather than considerate.
5. Excessive Pleases
While politeness is essential, excessively using “please” and “thank you” can make conversations feel forced and insistent. Imagine how it feels when a child says “please” a thousand times a minute.
6. Insisting on Paying, Always
Picking up the tab seems polite in some contexts, and some people are happy to have someone else pay for dinner. While offering to pay is polite, insisting too much can create an uncomfortable situation. However, some cultures, such as the Middle East, see fighting for the bill as a norm.
7. Offering Too Many Choices
Receiving 10 choices when you ask for water can be a little annoying. Providing numerous options in an attempt to be accommodating can be overwhelming rather than considerate.
8. Interrupting to Yield the Floor
Politely interrupting to take the floor may seem considerate, but it can disrupt the natural flow of conversation. A better way is to wait your turn unless the house is on fire.
9. Forcing Small Talk
The best way to avoid awkward silence in a social setting is by starting a conversation. Overly polite individuals may engage in forced small talk that feels insincere and uncomfortable, which becomes annoying.
10. Offering Unwanted Assistance
While intended to be helpful, offering assistance when it’s unnecessary can be frustrating. Many people don’t get the hint and insist on giving a hand even when it’s already making the other party uncomfortable.
11. Refusing Compliments
False humility suggests not being overly excited about receiving compliments. Always deflecting compliments can be seen as fishing for more praise or being overly modest. Sometimes its okay to accept a compliment with gratitude and move on.
12. Apologizing for Saying No
Society has taught many people to be available for others, and saying no is considered rude or inconsiderate. Apologizing excessively when declining requests may make one seem indecisive or lacking confidence.
13. Always Avoiding Conflict
Conflicts are inevitable in relationships; the best way to live is to learn to solve them amicably. Avoiding disagreements may seem polite, but it may lead to unresolved issues, annoyance, and passive-aggressive behavior.
14. Excessive Use of Formal Language
There are situations when formal language is necessary, even lauded. Using overly formal language in casual settings may create a barrier and hinder natural communication.
15. Overuse of Emoji
The beautiful art of texting in complete sentences is getting lost as more people use emojis. In informal settings, emojis are great for communicating feelings and showing casualness. In professional contexts, excessive emojis might undermine the seriousness of the conversation.
16. Constantly Nodding in Agreement
Nodding excessively to show agreement may appear disingenuous and irritating. It may be intended to imply concentration, but overdoing it is annoying.
It’s important to strike a balance and be mindful of the context and preferences of those around us. Remember, it’s not just about being polite; it’s about creating an environment where respect and consideration mutually thrive.
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I’m a Language and Literary Studies (Honors) graduate with 11 years of experience in magazine and blog writing and content creation. I’m passionate about storytelling for change and believe in the power of words to make a difference. My writing is thought-provoking, accessible, and engaging, focusing on the Psychology of human behavior, complex social issues, personal experiences, and the latest trends. I’m a wife and a Mom of three.
