I live with (undiagnosed) anxiety. It’s no longer crippling– I’ve learned to recognize it and remind myself that my thoughts aren’t the whole truth. I’m often scared I won’t, I can’t, I’ll mess up… what was I thinking? Most of my anxiety stems from interacting with people, and a special few seem to trigger my stress without even trying. If you’re like me, you might wonder how we can stop giving these people so much airtime in our brain.
It’s possible to lose sleep and have palpitations overthinking every interaction and question our decisions in a wildly disproportionate way to the situation. It’s easy to get caught up in other people’s drama, to let their moods and opinions rule your peace of mind. But there are plenty of people who aren’t worth a single second of your anxiety.
Here are the people who aren’t deserving of your mental bandwidth, and they certainly don’t deserve to make your thoughts spiral.
1. The Drama Lovers Who Suck You In
Some folks are drama magnets. Their day isn’t complete without stirring up a little chaos, be it at home or in the office. These are the people who turn molehills into mountains and then ski down the avalanche with glee. They don’t realize they’re siphoning your energy like a smartphone app running in the background.
They whip up a storm, pull you into the eye of the hurricane, and then hand you the mop for cleanup duty. If you’ve been caught in their tornado more than once, it might be time to grab your umbrella and make a graceful exit.
2. The Constant Critic Who Never Sees Your Wins
Some people seem to think that their life’s purpose is to point out everything wrong with yours. It’s exhausting trying to please someone who’s never satisfied, and worse when that person takes it upon themselves to offer unsolicited advice and judgment at every turn.
A constant critic has no appreciation for your victories and no sympathy for your struggles. If it makes you anxious that you’re always falling short, remember their criticisms rarely have anything to do with you. More often than not, they’re a reflection of their own insecurities and dissatisfaction.
3. The Opportunist Who Uses You For Gain
An opportunist is someone who sees relationships as transactions. They’re only interested in what they can gain from you, and once they’ve taken what they need, they’ll disappear, leaving you wondering why you invested so much in them in the first place.
These individuals are skilled at taking advantage of your goodwill, and they will never give back in equal measure. They know how to make you feel like you’re their only friend when they need something, but then disappear like Houdini when it’s your turn. Don’t feel bad about refusing to give energy to such people anymore.
4. The Chronic Victim Who Never Takes Responsibility
Some people seem to believe that the world is out to get them, and they will make sure you know it at every opportunity. They never take responsibility for their actions or their circumstances. Instead, they prefer to play the victim, waiting for someone to come along and fix things for them. The person fixing is often you.
The problem with this mindset is that it keeps them stuck in a perpetual cycle of self-pity, and they expect you to be their emotional crutch. You can’t fix someone who refuses to help themselves, and it’s not your job to carry their emotional weight.
5. The Flake Who Can’t Stick To Plans
We all know that one person promises to show up, make plans, and be there for you—and yet, time and time again, they bail at the last minute. It’s frustrating, especially when you’ve made an effort to accommodate them in your busy life.
The flake is someone who doesn’t respect your time or energy. They’ll give you every excuse under the sun, but their actions will speak louder than their words. This is a one-sided friendship, and such a person isn’t prioritizing you. They certainly aren’t worth your stress. Stop making room for people who never show up.
6. The Manipulator Who Wants to Control You
For some folks, manipulation is less an art and more a full-blown performance. They will push your buttons like a toddler in an elevator. They’ll make you question your life choices and convince you that the sky is green if it suits their agenda.
Manipulators plan exquisite guilt trips even when the guilt is as misplaced as a penguin in the Sahara. You’re left feeling like the emotional equivalent of a used teabag. Stand your ground, document events if you have to, and remind yourself that it’s not your fault they burned their tongue with hot coffee.
7. The Envious Ones
People who harbor jealousy can be like emotional vampires, sucking the joy right out of your life. The envious ones can’t handle your success or happiness, and they’ll go out of their way to rain on your parade. One day, it’s side-eye comments, stealthy jabs at your wins; the other, it’s full-on sabotage.
They make it seem like your success is their kryptonite. Don’t let their green-eyed monster keep you from enjoying your victories. Instead, keep company with those who cheer you on and want to see you win as much as you do.
8. The Eternal Complainer
As one prone to anxiety, you’re already seeing problems at every corner. Then comes people who are stuck in a constant state of dissatisfaction, and they seem determined to drag you into their negative mindset.
The eternal complainer will find something to gripe about no matter how good the situation is. You’ll quickly realize that this behavior is less about the issue at hand and more about the need for attention and validation. You can’t fix someone’s chronic dissatisfaction, and you don’t have to live in it with them. Save your mental space for more positive, growth-oriented interactions.
9. The Gaslighter Who Twists Your Reality
A gaslighter is someone who makes you question your reality. They twist facts, distort events, and make you feel like you’re the one losing touch with the truth. Over time, their manipulations can leave you doubting your perceptions, and that’s exactly what they want.
It’s an insidious form of control that can have lasting effects on your self-esteem and mental health. They’ll make you think you’re overreacting or that your feelings are irrational. But the reality is that their behavior is toxic, and no one should have the power to make you question your own sanity. Your sense of truth is yours alone to own.
10. The Narcissist
Where do I even begin with these ones? Narcissists believe the world revolves around them. They crave attention, admiration, and validation, and they’ll do whatever it takes to make sure they’re the center of attention.
These individuals will often use you as a sounding board for their endless self-promotion, leaving you feeling invisible and unheard. They lack empathy and have no interest in your needs or feelings unless it serves their ego. Spending time with a narcissist will leave you feeling small and insignificant. Stop sacrificing your peace to feed their inflated egos.
11. The Two-Faced Friend Who Betrays Your Trust
A two-faced friend is someone who pretends to have your back but talks behind your back. They’ll tell you one thing to your face and something completely different when you’re not around. It’s hard to know where you stand with them, and that uncertainty breeds anxiety.
You’re likely still healing from the last time they stabbed you in the back. That alone is enough to justify stepping away from the friendship altogether. Find your tribe. True friends have your back even when you’re posing for mugshots.
12. The Overly Critical Parent
We all want our parents’ approval, but some parents take their criticisms to a whole new level. They have an uncanny ability to point out every flaw or shortcoming while offering little to no encouragement. Their standards are often impossibly high, and no matter what you achieve, they always find a way to make you feel inadequate.
Never getting the acceptance of the person who is supposed to love and support you unconditionally hurts. A lot. Let go of seeking their approval and focus on finding validation from within. You’re doing just fine and deserve to be proud of that.
13. The Overachiever Who Makes You Feel Like a Slacker
Some people are so consumed with their own success that they can’t resist reminding you of everything you haven’t accomplished. They’ll casually mention their latest accomplishments or their ongoing hustle, making you feel like you’re falling behind.
They fail to understand that their success is theirs, and your journey is yours—there’s no need to compete. Being around these individuals can lead to feelings of inadequacy. You don’t have to match someone else’s timeline or achievements. Let go of comparing yourself to them.
14. The Self-Important Boss Who Disrespects Your Time
Research shows managers have a great impact on people’s mental health. Some bosses are entitled and self-serving and often treat their employees like pawns in their own game. The self-important boss is more concerned with their own image than the well-being of their team. They demand respect but don’t offer it in return.
Working for this type of boss can lead to burnout and frustration. The emotional toll is heavy, and the rewards are nonexistent. If your work life feels like an endless cycle of bending over backward for someone who doesn’t appreciate you, it’s time to set boundaries and stop allowing this person to take up so much mental space.
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I’m a Language and Literary Studies (Honors) graduate with 11 years of experience in magazine and blog writing and content creation. I’m passionate about storytelling for change and believe in the power of words to make a difference. My writing is thought-provoking, accessible, and engaging, focusing on the Psychology of human behavior, complex social issues, personal experiences, and the latest trends. I’m a wife and a Mom of three.
