What can we liken raising a daughter to? Watching your heart walk around outside of your body? Molding a clay pot with shaky hands? Flying a kite in a storm? The smell of roses or a baking cake? Nothing is as gratifying, humbling, or frightening as watching our little girls bloom into capable women.
The quest to teach her to be strong, kind, confident, and resilient in a harsh world while knowing she’ll need to find her own path feels like a mix of everything. It may be easy at times and hard in others when she wants a prom dress that will cost you two paychecks or tests your temper with her stubbornness, but there are some lessons you can’t afford for her to miss.
So here are 14 important things to tell your daughter to help her become the incredible person she’s meant to be.
1. You Don’t Have to Fit In
Life will try to shove you into a box, but you’re much bigger than any space society or others will try to place you in. You’ll be told many things about what a “proper, polite girl should” be and do, but none of that matters if it doesn’t feel right to you.
Living authentically takes courage, especially in a world obsessed with trends and conformity. People who matter will love you for who you are, not for who they want you to be. Life is much more fulfilling when you’re true to yourself, even if it means standing out in a sea of sameness.
2. Don’t Be Afraid to Use Your Voice
Your perfume may be strong, but there’s nothing stronger than your voice. Don’t let anyone silence you or make you feel like your opinions don’t matter. Even if it seems like no one is listening, speak up. Your voice can be used to change this world for the better.
Your thoughts, feelings, and ideas deserve to be heard, and the right people will tune in. Your voice can spark conversations and shift how people see the world.
3. Failure Isn’t the Enemy
Life won’t always go according to plan—your bobby pins won’t stay in place, the guy you have a crush on doesn’t like you back, and you might get things wrong from time to time. Accept failure with grace. Missteps and setbacks are opportunities to learn and grow. If you aren’t failing sometimes, you’re not taking enough risks, and you need risks to grow.
I’ve stumbled plenty of times. Heck, the mistakes I think I’ve made parenting you! But I learned from every experience and tried to do my best. The most interesting stories aren’t the ones where everything goes perfectly.
4. Stay Humble and Kind
Being kind doesn’t make you weak. It’s easy to be cynical and brutal, but it takes strength to show compassion, especially when everyone looks away. People may take your kindness for granted, but that’s on them, not you. The world could use more people who choose kindness, even when lending a hand isn’t the easiest or most convenient decision.
Don’t forget to be kind to yourself. Don’t let anyone make you feel small for caring. In the end, kindness will take you further than cynicism ever will, and it will help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships along the way.
5. Love Yourself
Self-love isn’t about being self-centered or arrogant—it’s about recognizing your worth and treating yourself with the same kindness you’d offer your best friend. It’s cliche but true—you can’t pour from an empty cup.
When you love yourself, you set a standard for how others should treat you. You are your biggest advocate, so take time for yourself and don’t feel guilty about it.
6. Be With People Who Elevate You
The people you choose to keep close will shape your life more than you can imagine. Make sure those people encourage you, believe in you, and cheer for your success.
Life’s tough enough without dragging around negative energy, so pick your tribe carefully. True friends see your potential, even when you don’t. Don’t settle for relationships that drain you.
7. You are More Than Your Reflection
Your worth has nothing to do with how you look and everything to do with your inner beauty. While getting caught up in society’s obsession with appearance is easy, you’re awesome even when you’re having a bad hair day and the acne flares.
Who you are inside is timeless. Your heart, mind, and soul are far more important than any outward features.
8. Trust Yourself
You have a good head on your shoulders and need to trust it. Life is full of choices, and while it’s tempting to second-guess yourself, don’t. You’ve been learning and growing every step of the way, and that means you’re more prepared than you realize.
You don’t need to have all the answers, and you may have difficulty making big decisions sometimes, but you do have the wisdom to figure things out as you go.
9. It’s Okay to Ask for Help
There’s a myth that asking for help means you’re weak, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. It takes real strength to admit when you need a hand, whether it’s with a project or when life gets overwhelming.
Your loved ones and friends are all there for you, but they can’t know what you need if you don’t speak up. We all need support sometimes, and that’s nothing to be ashamed of.
10. Create Your Happiness
Your spouse, friends, or cat can’t make you happy—that’s something only you can do. Life’s too short to wait for the perfect circumstances or the right people to bring you joy.
Take control of your happiness. It doesn’t have to be complicated, either. It’s in the everyday moments—the quiet mornings, the unexpected laughter, the satisfaction of doing something you love. Find what makes you happiest and lean into it.
11. Forgiveness Will Free You
Holding onto anger or hurt just weighs you down. Forgiveness is like a breath of fresh air, freeing you from unnecessary pain. Letting go of grudges opens up space for more peace and joy.
It doesn’t mean you have to forget or accept everything that happened, but it helps you move forward without the baggage. The healing you need might be just one “I forgive you” away. And don’t forget, forgiving yourself is important too!
12. Chase Your Dreams Without Apology
Whatever your dream is, go after it without a second thought. Sure, some folks might doubt you or say you’re aiming too high—ignore them.
Your dreams are valid, whether they’re big or small, and deserve your time, energy, and effort. Don’t downsize them to fit someone else’s expectations—dream boldly and give it everything you’ve got.
13. No Comparisons
There will always be someone ahead of you in the race of life. It’s easy to look at social media and feel you’re falling behind. You have your own unique journey, and comparing it to someone else’s will only leave you feeling discouraged.
Focus on your progress, not how it stacks up against others. Celebrate your wins, however small, and be proud of how far you’ve come.
14. You are Loved
If you take nothing else away from the conversation, this is the most important thing for you to remember: I love you. And that love isn’t because of what you do, look like, or achieve—it is simply because you are you.
That love is unconditional and unwavering, and it will always be there, even on the days when you don’t feel like you deserve it. You will never walk alone. You are surrounded by love, and that will never change.
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I’m a Language and Literary Studies (Honors) graduate with 11 years of experience in magazine and blog writing and content creation. I’m passionate about storytelling for change and believe in the power of words to make a difference. My writing is thought-provoking, accessible, and engaging, focusing on the Psychology of human behavior, complex social issues, personal experiences, and the latest trends. I’m a wife and a Mom of three.
I’m a Language and Literary Studies (Honors) graduate with 11 years of experience in magazine and blog writing and content creation. I’m passionate about storytelling for change and believe in the power of words to make a difference. My writing is thought-provoking, accessible, and engaging, focusing on the Psychology of human behavior, complex social issues, personal experiences, and the latest trends. I’m a wife and a Mom of three.
